What Does the Bible Say About Bitterness?

Have you ever found yourself holding on to a hurt for longer than you should? Maybe it’s a betrayal, an offense, or some form of injustice, and the more you think about it, the angrier you become. You feel this knot in your heart tightening, and soon, it turns into bitterness. It’s not uncommon for us to experience bitterness in life, but have you ever stopped to ask: what does the Bible say about bitterness?

Bitterness is an emotion that can take root in our hearts when we hold onto unforgiveness, resentment, or anger for too long. It may seem subtle at first, but as it festers, it can grow into something destructive, not only affecting our relationship with others but also with God. Let’s take a look at what the Bible teaches us about bitterness and how we can uproot it from our lives.

What Is Bitterness According to the Bible?

Bitterness, in a biblical sense, goes beyond just feeling angry or upset. It represents a deep-seated resentment that eats away at us from within. The Bible warns against harboring bitterness because of its potential to lead us down a dangerous spiritual path. Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) states, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

This verse paints a vivid picture of bitterness as a “root” — something that grows beneath the surface, unnoticed at first, but eventually causing widespread damage. When we allow bitterness to take root, it can defile not just our own hearts but can also cause turmoil in our relationships and communities.

The Danger of Holding on to Bitterness

One of the most significant dangers of bitterness is that it blinds us spiritually. Ephesians 4:31 (NIV) says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” God’s Word encourages us to let go of bitterness because it has no place in the heart of a believer. Bitterness clouds our judgment, leading us to make decisions fueled by hurt rather than healing. Unfortunately, bitterness eventually permeates every aspect of our being and fosters an unhealthy desire for revenge. A heart consumed by such feelings leaves no room for the Holy Spirit, opening a door for negative influences to take hold and cause even greater harm. This is why the Bible warns against letting the sun go down on our anger. Ephesians 4:26-27 states: ‘In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.’ The Word of God explicitly warns us that holding on to anger gives the devil a grip on us. After all, the Bible refers to him as the accuser of the brethren, who accuses us day and night. Bitterness provides the devil with a legal ground to claim us as his own, since we are in possession of his property.

Romans 6:16 reminds us: ‘Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Bitterness is not of God; it means you are holding onto the devil’s property. Give it back to him immediately—don’t waste another second clinging to that deadly gift. Additionally, bitterness is a declaration of your will to seek vengeance against your opponents, which causes God to stand on the sidelines since you have not invited Him into the situation. Romans 12:19 states: ‘Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.’ If you truly believe that vengeance belongs to the Lord, then pray and leave it to Him. You are no longer in charge; He is now.

When bitterness lingers in our hearts, it distances us from God. We may find ourselves replaying painful scenarios over and over, reliving hurtful words or actions. Instead of allowing God’s grace to heal us, we remain stuck in a cycle of resentment. This not only hinders our ability to forgive others but also affects our spiritual growth and relationship with God.

Examples of Bitterness in the Bible

The Bible gives us several examples of individuals who struggled with bitterness, and it also shows us the consequences of allowing this emotion to dominate our lives.

One well-known example is found in the story of Esau. After losing his birthright and blessing to his brother Jacob, Esau held on to bitterness and plotted to kill Jacob (Genesis 27:41). Esau’s bitterness not only damaged his relationship with his brother, but it led him down a destructive path. However, years later, Esau and Jacob reconciled, showing that forgiveness is possible even after deep hurt and betrayal.

Another example of bitterness in the Bible is Naomi from the book of Ruth. Naomi experienced a series of devastating losses — her husband and two sons died, leaving her a widow in a foreign land. In her grief, Naomi became bitter, so much so that she changed her name to Mara, which means “bitter.” She declared, “The Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty” (Ruth 1:20-21, NIV).

Naomi’s bitterness was understandable; she had faced unimaginable loss. Yet, her story reminds us that bitterness often stems from deep hurt and disappointment. Thankfully, Naomi’s story didn’t end there. With time, God restored her joy through her relationship with her daughter-in-law, Ruth, and her new grandson. This story teaches us that even in our bitterness, God can still work and restore our lives.

The Root of Bitterness

Bitterness often grows out of unforgiveness. When we are wronged, it’s natural to feel hurt or upset, but when we hold on to those feelings, bitterness takes root. In Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV), Paul warns, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Holding on to anger for too long opens the door for bitterness to take control.

It’s also important to note that bitterness doesn’t just arise from personal offenses. Sometimes, bitterness can stem from jealousy, disappointment, or unmet expectations. When we compare ourselves to others or feel that life has been unfair, bitterness can quickly grow if we don’t address those feelings.

How Bitterness Affects Our Relationship with Others

Bitterness can be incredibly damaging to our relationships. It often leads to unforgiveness, grudges, and a lack of compassion. When bitterness takes root, we find it difficult to see the good in others or extend grace, even when it’s deserved.

In Colossians 3:13 (NIV), we are instructed to “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Forgiveness is a key component of overcoming bitterness. Without it, bitterness will continue to fester, creating walls between us and those we care about. Relationships require grace, and when we choose to let go of bitterness, we open the door to reconciliation and healing.

How Bitterness Affects Our Relationship with God

1 John 2:11: ‘But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.’ Bitterness of heart is like a veil that clouds our vision, preventing the light of life from penetrating and illuminating our soul. It acts like a double-edged sword, harming both ourselves and those we oppose. God strongly disapproves of this, as seen in 1 John 4:20: ‘If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?’ Bitterness keeps us from reaching our full potential as children of God and casts doubt on the true nature of our Christian faith.

Matthew 6:12: “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Bitterness hinders us from being forgiven for our sins as well. How can we approach God to hide His face from our sins but fail to do the same for others? Forgiveness is not an option; it’s a necessity. Let’s close with a meditation on Jonah 2:8: “They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.”

Overcoming Bitterness: A Biblical Approach

So, how can we uproot bitterness from our lives and hearts? The Bible gives us several practical steps to take in overcoming bitterness:

• Acknowledge the Hurt
  The first step in overcoming bitterness is to acknowledge the hurt. Pretending that we’re not affected by someone’s actions or denying our feelings only allows bitterness to grow. Be honest with God about your pain. Psalms 34:18 (NIV) tells us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God cares about your hurt and wants to heal you.

• Forgive
  Forgiveness is essential in uprooting bitterness. Jesus taught us the importance of forgiveness in Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV): “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Holding on to unforgiveness only keeps us chained to bitterness. Forgiveness is not about condoning the offense, but about freeing yourself from the grip of bitterness.

• Pray for Your Offender
  One of the most powerful ways to overcome bitterness is to pray for the person who hurt you. In Matthew 5:44 (NIV), Jesus tells us to “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” When you pray for someone who has wronged you, it helps to soften your heart and brings God’s healing into the situation. This might sound surprising, but I assure you from my experience that it works like a magic pill.

• Seek Peace
  Hebrews 12:14 (NIV) encourages us to “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Bitterness often thrives when we allow conflict to remain unresolved. Seeking peace in your relationships, as much as it depends on you, can help you let go of bitterness. Seeking peace does not necessarily mean bringing them close but rather being at peace and bearing no ill will towards them.

• Guard Your Heart
  Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Be mindful of what you allow to take root in your heart. If you notice bitterness creeping in, take it to God in prayer immediately. Ask Him to replace that bitterness with His love and grace. Do this as many times as possible till it becomes second nature.

The Freedom Found in Letting Go of Bitterness

Letting go of bitterness is not easy, but it’s necessary for our spiritual well-being. When we hold onto bitterness, we’re essentially keeping ourselves in bondage. But when we release it, we find freedom. Colossians 3:8 (NIV) instructs us to “rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” In other words, bitterness has no place in the life of a believer.

When we let go of bitterness, we make room for God’s peace to fill our hearts. Philippians 4:7 (NIV) promises, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This peace is what allows us to move forward, even after experiencing deep hurt.

Bitterness is a destructive emotion that can hinder our relationship with God and others. While it’s natural to feel hurt when wronged, holding on to that hurt only harms us in the long run. The Bible teaches us to let go of bitterness by forgiving, seeking peace, and trusting God to heal our hearts. When we surrender our bitterness to God, He replaces it with His love, peace, and freedom. Remember, no matter how deep the hurt, God’s grace is always sufficient to heal and restore.